Why here? Why Now?

Looks pretty different around here.  

You may ask why the change?  Why not continue to write over at the family blog where I have been writing for 8 years? And I can tell you times have changed. My heart has changed.  I have desires and hopes for my words to be shared in new ways.  I also have felt more and more lately that when I share something outside of motherhood I am tainting a space that was meant for my kids to have as they grow older.  My personal thoughts and feelings and experiences are not a reflection of theirs.  I want them to have the space to have their own, to develop their own story and to live out their lives privately as they struggle to see Gods purpose and plan for them.  

I have also found myself wanting to write about so much more.  I want to share the story God has given me to be a part of.  I want to share stories of his grace and mercy. I want to write in a way that reflects his goodness and ultimate existence in this world.  I want to write bits and pieces of my heart and its experiences.  

The older I get the more I realize that these stories and experiences really don't belong to me but were meant to be shared. My words are perhaps one of my greatest gifts.  I love to write, in fact I have loved to write for most of my life, in junior high it was poetry and short stories, in high school its was papers and journals, and in the last almost ten years it was mostly on our family blog which is a treasure to me. God has given me so much and yet none of it really belongs to. And that is a symbol of my freedom and my opportunity.

Five years ago I started to write a book.  I have deleted and edited and rewritten 25 pages over and over.  The fear of putting it out there is what keeps it the depths of my computer. But the more years that pass the more I realize that it would be troubling to me to not follow the call of finishing it.  I am not sure what that all means or where it will go. I certainly do not have dreams of the NYT best sellers or anything.  Perhaps it will be something I take to kinko's and spiral bind 10 copies of and hide again. But I am open to where it leads.  Over the next 12 months I am subjecting myself to a deep submersion into the word.  I am studying and reading and writing with others, in effort to better understand the gospel and what it intends for us.  And simultaneously I hope to write here.  When the year is finished I hope to throw my words into book form and it will be called, Not My Own.  

In addition I pray that this will be a place for questions and conversation.  A place where others can share as well.  My inbox is always open jessjag@gmail.com, feel free to drop me a line anytime.

You will also most likely notice the beautiful photography on the pages of this space.  My husband, Brian, has allowed me full access to his ever growing catalog of photos.  Please respect them.  If you are interested in any of the images you see he sells digital images and prints at a reasonable price and would be happy to share.  So we ask most kindly that you do not use any of these images without permission.